July 2012 - Richard 'Jerry' Haworth: 21st Century Joseph – an alternative ancient reality

The Pharaoh had a dream. When he awoke in the morning his mind was troubled, so he sent for all the magicians and wise men of Egypt. He told the wise men his dreams, but no one could interpret them for him.  Then the chief cupbearer said to the Pharaoh “A young Hebrew, a servant of the captain of the guard, has interpreted our dreams for us, giving each man the interpretation of his dream.  And things turned out exactly as he interpreted them to us.”

So 21st Century Joseph was sent for and was quickly brought from the dungeon. When he had shaved and changed his clothes, he came before the Pharaoh. The Pharaoh said, “In my dream I was standing on the bank of the Nile, when out of the river there came up seven cows, fat and sleek, and they grazed among the reeds.  After them, seven other cows came up - scrawny and very ugly and lean. I had never seen such ugly cows in all the land of Egypt.  The lean, ugly cows ate up the seven fat cows that came up first.  But even after they ate them, no one could tell that they had done so; they looked just as ugly as before. Then I woke up.”

21st Century Joseph said “God has revealed through your dreams what he is about to do.  The seven good cows are seven plentiful years.  The seven lean, ugly cows that came up afterward are seven years of famine. And now you must look for a discerning and wise man to put in charge of the land of Egypt.” The Pharaoh said, “Well that is an easy one, I already have such a man, a wise and discerning man; Benjamin DragSpananke, the Central Granary Chief.”

Benjamin said to the Pharaoh. “Do not fret dear sir, I have a plan. Let us eat and be merry for the seven fat years. In fact let’s borrow from neighbouring kingdoms because my plan is THAT ingenious we will not need to worry about a silly dream even if it comes to pass!

When the famine comes we will issue Pharaoh bonds and hoodwink the people into a false illusion of prosperity. We will get the Granary to buy the bonds with freshly printed money which the Pharaoh can dispense at will to the people. They in turn can hoodwink each other and neighbouring countries and buy food and supplies with this “money” which has no intrinsic value because we have printed so much! Thus people will feel prosperous even though there is famine in the land. Furthermore, we will control the GDP “numbers” so as not to get the people down with talk of famine. As for the borrowing from neighbouring countries, we will threaten default and claim that the growth and stability in this famine is now more important than repaying the debts. We will also take interest rates down to zero so we don’t have any repayment pressure.”

“Sounds like a better plan” said Pharaoh, old Joseph here was talking about saving 20% of all the grain production during the “plentiful” seven years to have a food store during the “lean” years. What will that do for consumer spending and GDP growth!

Joseph is an idiot.”
In blossom today,
Then scattered:
Life is so like
A delicate Flower.
How can one expect
The Fragrance to last forever?       

Admiral Onishi, Tokko (kamikaze) group